I’m a 27 year old married mother of two who has been battling depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and borderline personality disorder for most of my life. Like a lot of people with these problems, I cut, am dependent on medicines, obsessively shop, clean and try to perfect the body I hate. I’m currently on Xanax, Klonopin and Viibryd and see a therapist. It seems none of these things have helped much.
I live in a small town in Utah and have very few friends. Every relationship I have is unstable including my marriage. My two young children are my whole world and I’ve pretty much given up on having a meaningful relationship with anyone else.
As a child I was physically and emotionally abused and as an adult have let men use me as I’ve used them.
My therapist thinks it has stemmed from the relationship I had with my abusive father. Great now I have “daddy issues” too.
This blog is just a way for me to vent because I feel like I’ve exhausted other efforts to have a release. Mind numbing medicines only work to a degree I suppose.
And just as a disclaimer, I absolutely do not condone abusing medicines or cutting. I mean in no way to glorify self destructive behavior. This site is for other people who can relate to me, not for people to mimic or pity me for that matter.
Thanks for reading…