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Who needs friends when you have prescriptions?
Recently, I was shopping at a local Wal-Mart and since I am a gullible middle class white woman, I suspect I was easy prey for just about anyone.
A man approached me and asked if I wanted a banana and I said “Why, yes!” He asked me to reach into his pocket and grab it and I did.
It didn’t feel like a banana, but a warm erect penis. My happiness over getting a free banana quickly turned into debilitating fear.
I stood there, quaking and trembling with a strange man’s erect penis clenched in my fist.
THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!! ANYONE OF US HELPLESS WOMEN COULD BE THE EASY VICTIM OF A MAN PRETENDING TO HAVE A BANANA IN HIS POCKET!!!
PLEASE SPREAD THIS EMAIL AROUND LIKE IT’S SYPHILIS AND JUST SAY NO TO THE FREE BANANA!!!!
This scaremongering email was just forwarded to me by my friend. Note the 92.5%. LOL!
Team, Recently sent to me:
On the way to Canton , driving on Michigan Avenue , on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Canton PD and they were going to check it out. This is what I was told…
“Several things to be aware of .. gangs and thieves, are now plotting different ways to get a person to “stop” their vehicle.
“There is a gang initiation reported by the local police department that gangs are placing a car seat by the road…with a fake baby in it…waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the baby. Note that the location of this car seat will usually be beside a wooded or grassy (field) area …and the person – woman – will be dragged into the woods- beaten and raped- usually left for dead. DO NOT STOP . DIAL 9-1-1 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW.
“IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSHIELD. DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5% YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THIEVES. THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS. PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE UNSAVORY INDIVIDUALS WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.”
I’m actually going to the gym for escapism.
“You know how you’ve been jacking off to pay per view porn and sending me your cum while you’ve been away for work and mailing it to me and I’ve been squirting it up my cooter with a turkey baster?”
A very interesting day?
Who cares? The closest thing I have to either is hidden in my bottom drawer. Thanks a lot for being hundreds of miles away, husband.
Husband is in Cali. again. Going to see Eclipse tonight. Yup.